I feel like that guy in Swingers. The main guy, the one who always calls girls the same night that he gets their phone numbers and then totally freaks them out. Except I'm not stalking my phone to try to get in touch with a new girl. I'm trying to talk to an old girl. I keep looking at the phone, I've picked it up once. I want to call her but I shouldn't.

I don't want to know.

I should not know.

It is none of my business.

OK, I need to figure something out to take my mind off of my train wreck of stupidity.