I'm without internet access still...hopefully Friday.

I don't really know what I want to write about anymore. Writing about the sadness of my breakup doesn't appeal to me right now. Writing about my new house is similarly uninspiring.

All I can really write about is what's in my head...it is really hot. I went out for a run (ha ha ha) today and I got all sweaty. I had to take a long shower afterward. I became sweaty again soon after I dried off. I have to buy my cat a tag with my new address. I feel bad for her. She is adjusting well...I think.

Sometimes people need to try to put themselves in other's shoes. Doing something for yourself is ok. Putting yourself high is ok but if that means putting someone whom you care about at the bottom, that is not ok. If I really want an ice cream cone it is ok. If I have to punch my sister in order to get the ice cream it is not ok. I still get the ice cream, but at what cost?

I can't wait until I can be happy about being single. I'm not. Sometimes I still think we'll get back together. I don't want to. She sucks. I love her but she sucks. It is that simple.

My palms are really sweaty and my typing is making lots of noise in the library where I am.

I found out that she has another online diary somewhere out there. One that she seems to update more often and more honestly. I have a diary in book form. I don't know why I feel a bit annoyed about her secret online diary. Probably because I'm an information masochist. I want to find out painful things.

I wrote three letters to her last night. They were all really angry. I didn't send them. They won't help "us" but they really helped me. Ha!

I haven't had a cigarette all day and I don't think I will. I have been drinking too much. I'm going for at least a week without alcohol.

I think the drinking and smoking are really stupid ways of trying to escape from the doldrums I am currently in.

I've been plodding along in "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." It is a really good book. Unfortunately, my hi-lighter is out of flourescent yellow ink. I should buy one. I have to go back and hi-light a bunch of stuff.

I need to buy some new pants.

I need to get a job.

I can't wait to get my dsl up and running.

I need to cut my hair. But I also need to buy new hair clippers.

I'm going to have to spend a lot of time in this building over the next five years. I'd better get used to my mind wandering like this.