Well, she just called me from Portland. We chit-chatted a little. She's having trouble with the crappy phone company. She mentioned that she went to a party on Saturday. I asked her if she'd met any special friends. She said "no." I suppose that answer is as good as any. I don't know if it would bother me if she had met any guys there that she was interested in. It probably would. I wish it wouldn't.

I've just realized that I have this fear that I turned her boring and that whenever she isn't around me she has fun. I mean, think about it...when we lived together, we never really went to parties or things like that. After I moved down here, she went out on Friday night's with friends. She moved down here and stopped going out very much. There'd be a party or something and she'd just want to stay home. She went back to the east coast and went out with all her friends, stayed out all night, slept with her ex boyfriend. Now that she's back up in Portland and away from me, she goes to another damn party. Fuck! Why didn't she ever have fun with me? It is as if when I'm around she just shuts down and doesn't allow fun to happen.

I don't know. Probably a little bit of an exaggeration on my part, but shit, why wouldn't she go out with me until last call...ever? God knows she's done it before, and will do it again.