My horoscope from Nerve:

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
In The Tao of Steve, Donal Logue (an overweight pothead who mostly just plays frisbee and shouldn't get laid nearly as often as he does) explains his three-part plan for snaring the ladeez: 1) Eliminate desire; you cannot score if you want to score. 2) Demonstrate excellence in her presence. 3) Retreat; women will chase what they cannot have. Yeah, it's pretty much "The Rules" for dudes. And though we'll probably go to hell for saying this, sometimes it works (for either sex). Like this week, for example.

We'll see about that!