This will probably be my last entry for a few days. This is definitely my last entry from Eugene. I'm closing a strange chapter of my life. I came down here on somewhat of a whim. In the process I got away from a job that I hated. I broke up with Stephanie. We got back together. She moved down here. We broke up again. I went to school half-heartedly. I worked at a convenience store. I met lots of people. I realized that I don't really like small town life. I had good times. I had some of the worst times of my life. I realized how irresponsible I can be. I started to learn how to be single again. I learned that I can be too clingy. I learned that it is better to face up to a situation before it spirals out of control. I learned that I have way too much stuff. I haven't yet learned how to get rid of it. I turned 21. I got a cat. I lived in a big house with seven other dudes.

Now I'm moving back to Portland on a whim. I've had the worst time of my life for a long time recently. It hasn't really been that bad. I'm trying to learn how to deal with my emotions better. I'm trying to learn how to stop overanalyzing every little thing. I've learned that I can feel alone even when I'm surrounded by people. I started this online journal. I started writing in a book journal. I got accepted to architecture school. I decided not to go.

I'm tired. I'm not done packing. I feel overwhelmed. I brought this on myself. I'm almost done. I just need to get over the hump. I don't feel like packing up my kitchen stuff. I think I'm not going to. I'll get it some other time. I'm sure it could be of use to the people who I used to live with. My dad is coming with a truck in the morning. About nine hours from now.

Things that I'm looking forward to:

Getting a decent job. Getting out of debt. Meeting new people. Dating new girls. Not getting into a serious relationship. Realizing that I've found someone to get into a serious relationship with. Going to regular therapy sessions. Working out the things in my head. Getting fully over Stephanie. Being in a lively town. Being happy with myself. Continuing writing. Continuing reading. Being close to my family.

I don't think I can keep this up. I'm going to force myself to wake up and then finish packing. I'm so close to done. I just can't anymore. Lessons in procrastination.