Long day at work today. I didn't eat enough dinner and I drank a bit too much beer. Bad combination.

I'm at my mom's house now. I'm going to be staying here for days at a time for the forseeable future. She has a dog that needs to be taken care of. Well, her girlfriend (partner, whatever) is going to be around but she also travels a lot for work and I owe them money so it works out pretty well. I'm trying to figure out whether or not to bring Sydney. That could be quite the adventure. A big dog who is scared of cats but uncontrollably drawn to them and a tiny cat whose claws have only been trimmed once. Yeah, the dog would be going down. Size doesn't account for viciousness.

So now I'm kind of interested in a few different people. It is an interesting feeling because I think that they are reasonably realistic things, not crushes or pie in the sky "love." But now I'm not really sure what to do. Should I just hang out with all of them and see what happens? That's kind of where I'm trying to play it right now. I mean, nothing has "happened" (except for with one) with them but I guess it could. But then that opens up another can of worms. Maybe I'll just be an enigma. But that's not my personality. I could never pull it off. Talking to Stephanie made me realize that I don't have any angst. Maybe I need to be more angsty. I know a lot of girls say that they don't like it, but I know that they do. Girls like boys who seem to have some sort of secret, some darkness that they are unwilling to share. And this is almost a quote from Stephanie but here goes...girls like to think that they can be the one to get into an angst-ridden boy's heart where he will open up to her. Well, not so much a quote, but kind of on the right track. Basically, I'm the opposite of angsty and that's fine. I'll never be that because it is not me. But sometimes I wish I could be like that. What things should I do to make my non-existant angst into a pseudo-reality? I know that writing at coffee shops is ok. Maybe I should grow my hair out and not wash it...but would that be angsty or just plain dirty? Probably the latter.

And this cluelessness about how to use my natural non-angst needs to go. I need to figure out the aspects of my personality that attract others to me. Likewise, I need to figure out which things repell others. Oh yeah, I also need to figure out how to read signals from women better. A girl basically needs to throw herself at me for me to understand that she's interested. I need to take more chances. What's the worst that could happen? Rejection? That's not so bad. Nope, not so bad at all.

I guess that's it for now. I'm hungry but I don't know what there is to eat in this house. My legs are sore so I'm going to sit/lay around all night.

Whoopadeedoo

Update!!!:

Oh, Gentle Reader, you thought I'd left but I am happy to report to you that I'm back. Three things to share with you interrelated all. First, I noticed for the first time that some people had found my diary through search engines. One was for "homelesspeople" and the other was for "fuckin twat." Those are things that I never thought I'd be listed for. Oh well. The third thing is partially related to the second search phrase. Yesterday Bush, the president, unveiled that economic plan. Or was it the day before? Well, regardless, I listened to OPB, Oregon's NPR affiliate for a good portion of the day. Oregon, as you may or may not know, is nicknamed "The Beaver State." Radio people kept saying the same phrase over and over in promotion for a show later in the day, "will President Bush's plan stimulate the Beaver State's economy." I can't be the only one who was listening to that who thought "stimulate the beaver." My God, who ever even calls it the Beaver State really? I think the script writer had a little fun there that snuck by. That's awesome. I hope it was intentional. Stimulate the beaver. That makes me laugh still.