Stephanie and I moved this weekend. We got help from Sister, friends, and my dad. It was quick and relatively painless. I can't do this again any time soon.

Money is still an issue and every day is stressful. I feel guilty when Stephanie buys me things. I feel guilty when I spend what little money I have on things...like food. I feel like some deadbeat who doesn't pull his own weight. And the worst part about the feeling is that it isn't wrong. I'm in my money situation because of my own mismanagement. I have a history of irresponsibility with money that keeps coming to a head. I hope that I have finally learned how to manage things properly. Living in crisis mode is a horrible way to do it. The tension in my shoulder seems to increase from day to day. And the worst part is that it translates to my relationship with Stephanie in the most ridiculous ways. I get short over stupid ass things. I can't think of an example right now but they happen daily. Our interactions seem strained. Maybe only from my point of view. But I don't think so. And then, me, who always freaks out at the first possible sign of conflict, I freak out. I jump to the worst possible conclusions about the future of our relationship. But this stuff isn't real. I don't think it is, at least. But it feels real. I live in my head and my head is a really uncomfortable place to be right now. Topping all the tension off is near, or over 100 degree weather and not smoking. Talk about tense.