We got cable internet now, and cable tv. Unfortunately, we don't get the Bravo network. A less politically correct person might call that "gay," but in reality it isn't. My desire for Bravo stems from my two viewings on NBC of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." I'm now one of the many Americans who loves the new show. It is inspiring me to improve my wardrobe and fashionably decorate our apartment. But I am the hapless "straight guy" referred to in the show's title. I can hope for the show to travel to Portland, or I can improve my taste on my own. I'll most likely have to go with the latter. I don't know quite how I'll do it, but I will get better taste. My underwear is the only thing I'm currently wearing that I've purchased in the last year, and that's just a fluke, the vast majority of underwear in my posession is over a year old. I've had the t-shirt I'm wearing for at least five years, maybe even longer. How embarrassing!

On another note, the garnishment of my paychecks is almost complete and I'm beginning to think of myself as a potential contributor to my expenses again. Thank God, because I've been feeling quite down on myself for a long time. I just need to keep perspective which isn't one of my strong suits. I often lose perspective and take it out on people who are close to me. I need to remember to be patient with those I love. If anyone deserves to be treated civilly by me, the people I am closest to do. I sometimes wonder how people deal with me because I freak out and take things out on people. I guess it could charitably be called "difficult," but really, I can just be an asshole.

So, I guess coming from this entry, I have a few goals:

1. Be more fashionable
2. Be better with money
3. Be less of an asshole, especially to people I love

I think these are acheivable goals. Christ, I hope they are, because aside from the first one, they are crucial in my long term relationships.

And now that I haven't written here in forever, I feel like writing everything. I won't, though.

One last thing. I am going out with Stephanie and some other people tonight. Hopefully, I won't need to drink too much in order to sing karaoke. My song is "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner. I'm going to knock 'em dead...with laughter.

Not with me. At me.